3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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