You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
