Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize