Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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