My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
