i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
my liver is dry heaving
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
