Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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