Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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