Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
