so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
