Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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