Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
