Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize