I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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