He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
