Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
