She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
