YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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