I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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