No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
