I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
