his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
