I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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