Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
