Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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