Sponge bath it is.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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