all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
