this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
