Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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