dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
