if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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