This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize