It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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