He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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