Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We got so high we made milksteak
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
