C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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