I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize