just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
