Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
