that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
