You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Randomize
