I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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