Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
