ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
