my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
