I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
