You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize