I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
