yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
