I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Randomize
