So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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