after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
