There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
