Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
