I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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