it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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