false alarm. still invincible.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize