Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize