Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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