I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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