Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
